JANUARY 2003 Thursday, January 30, 2003 Talk about extravagant: The Burton AMP from Apple is a super-specialized snowboarding jacket with a little pocket that holds your iPod. Further, a wire inside this pocket hooks it into the jacket's wiring. (There's a phrase you don't see too often: jacket wiring.) This allows you to control your iPod from a keypad on the coat's outer sleeve. It costs $500. Umm...someone should tell Steve Jobs that like...you know...there's a recession going on. This is, apparently, for people with Segways and Hummers with custom interiors. (Read: If you're not Steve Wozniak, you probably don't own this jacket...or a Segway. If you're a hip-hop producer or you play in the NFL, you might have the Hummer.) Wednesday, January 29, 2003 Good news: I have an occasional freelance gig as a food critic. I get paid to go to fancy restaurants with good food and write articles about them. Bad news: They don't reimburse me for my dinner. Silver lining: I probably would have eaten at these places eventually anyway. Although: Tonight, in an unexpected wave of generosity, I paid not only for myself, but for my friend who came along with me to taste things. Tuesday, January 28, 2003 You know it's been a long day when a clueless student shoves a floppy into a ZIP drive and then complains that he can't find his file and that "my computer is making funny noises." Dumbass. I actually gave him a Nick-Burns-esque "Move!" I think my roommate is severely manic depressive. She keeps having these wild mood swings where she's completely happy one minute and completely pissy the next. Hard to keep up with people like that. Monday, January 27, 2003 Some stuff that's out there, in order of no particular significance: Steve Jobs has graciously declined a White House run, probably realizing that he will need more than 5% of the vote to win. I'll kill you with my knife! Hahahahaha. Shania, baby, fire your stylist. I don't know where you're going with this look, but my guess is somewhere where they charge by the hour. Help! I'm addicted to Bauns! (Really...it's getting bad.) Martha's down 400 mil? Yes, but she still makes the most perfectly round cookies ever. Can you put a price on that? I think not. I know, the joke is dumb and easy, but it's still funny. At least the snow is good for something. Sunday, January 26, 2003 About Schmidt is the best movie I've seen in a long time. Aside from an ending that was a little too pat, it was nearly flawless: great story, beautifully shot, good characters, and Nicholson (and a bad mullet). It didn't even bother me that I was the youngest person in the theatre by about 40 years. What I did this week: worked my regular job 40 hours, prepared for and taught my community college class, spent about 20 hours editing a video, played drums in a band on Saturday night, and read a 200-page book. I am tired. Thursday, January 23, 2003 Too busy and therefore uninspired lately. Maybe tomorrow will be calmer. Tuesday, January 21, 2003 What I learned today: If there's a pair of sneakers hanging over the wires in front of a house, you can buy drugs at that house. Who knew? Monday, January 20, 2003 Day off! Bonus! Read through F'd Companies, the book version of fuckedcompany.com, and am now thoroughly disturbed by the billions of dollars burned on the internet boom and bust. Kaplan's tone is glib to a fault, but underneath it all is the message that people will want to be in on anything as long as it's new and hot. It's sad to read about all of these failed companies in one sitting and realize how much money was thrown at a way to put everything on the internet, even when most things were fine just the way they were and once again are. Part of me wants to do my taxes so I can (hopefully...probably...almost certainly) get my refund check soon. The other part of me recognizes that I have three months to get them done and therefore doesn't want to do math right now. Saturday, January 18, 2003 My schedule is currently set up so that I work my 40 hours at my full time job during the first four days of the week. On Fridays, I teach a community college class from 9 until 12 and then have an office hour until around 1. Then I have the rest of the day off. So I have decided that I will use this free afternoon to go to the movies. The movie theatres here, like everywhere, are insane on weekends and evenings, particularly on weekend evenings, because that's when everyone else wants to go to the movies. On early Friday afternoons, though, there's no one there. Which I prefer. Sure, I don't get a free pepsi because I stood in the concession line for more than four minutes, but I can make my peace with that. Yesterday I finally saw Adaptation and really liked it, mostly because the story was good and the nonlinear and self-reflexive narrative made it interesting, but also because I was feeling good about my new schedule that didn't force me to get to the theatre 45 minutes early to buy my ticket and then be herded with the rest of the crowd to a bad seat next to two chatty people who insist on either stage whispering or making out for the better part of the movie. And as a side note, I usually don't like Nicholas Cage all that much, but I liked him in this movie. He was really made to look physically awful, like Michael Douglas in Wonder Boys. I also never noticed how much Cage can look like both Bruce Hornsby and Will Ferrell. Thursday, January 16, 2003 I think I'd like to see Russian Ark (watch trailer here). One of my coworkers saw it at the Telluride Film Festival and said it was amazing beyond amazing. His wife, however, fell asleep. If nothing else, I think it is probably worth seeing for the sheer staggering fact that it's a 90 minute movie in one continuous shot. (Hitchcock's Rope, you may remember, was two, and also quite good.) It's playing next weekend up in East Lansing, about an hour away from here. And if the movie's not good, there's still dinner at a good sushi place nearby. Why no post yesterday? Because after lifting and configuring and popping RAM into ten new iMacs, I was totally looking forward to my massage appointment last night. And then, at the last minute, my massage therapist cancelled the session. I was in a foul mood. I got some carryout and watched bad tv and thought about how much my back hurt and how it would be nice if someone would come over and rub it for me. No one did. Tuesday, January 14, 2003 I am a huge Mac fan, but in all honesty, I'm getting a little jaded with MacWorld magazine. I don't even know why I subscribe, seeing as how it's just a vehicle for hyping the latest Apple products, which Apple seems to do well on their own. Sure, there are tips and stuff, but you can get them all from other sources (other free sources). The design isn't even good lately; this month's cover of boring, plain text is especially lame. It reminds me of when I was in college and doing the weekly student magazine, and we realized ten minutes before the cover was due at the printer that, Shit, we don't have a cover! And then we'd throw together something dumb and last-minute with no pictures and little thought...like the front of MacWorld's latest issue. Or maybe I'm just in a bad mood. Whatever. Monday, January 13, 2003 Today I got one of those Mary Kay Satin Hands massages, and it felt sooooo gooooooood. And, everyone in the office who also got one kept calling it Satin Paws, so it was relaxing and funny and free! Reader's Digest Condensed Books has nothing on Book-a-Minute Classics. My favorite so far is The Odyssey. Sunday, January 12, 2003 I have a new job as a part time instructor at the local community college. I teach a computer class in the English department for (mostly) nursing majors. It meets once a week on Friday mornings. I don't know who thought it would be fun to hold a three hour computer class on Friday mornings, especially considering that Thursday night is a big college party night and I'm already on weekend mode on Fridays. Let's just say that my students will get a lot of in-class lab time. Thursday, January 9, 2003 I watched The Bachelorette last night, and I have to say that the overall level of physical attractiveness of the 25 single men is considerably lower than that of the 25 single women on The Bachelor. Still, it was fun to watch grown men act anxious and catty on tv. Wednesday, January 8, 2003 I was excited to move in a few weeks into my own place and away from a roommate who is nice but messy. (I cannot live with anyone who considers vacuuming to be "advanced cleaning.") But as it turns out, I can't move. Why? Because my roommate's loser friend who was going to move in decided that she couldn't afford it. Of course, she decided this three weeks after she said she wanted to move in and filled out all the appropriate paperwork. And of course, I had already bought some new furniture and assured my friend and prospective landlord that I could start paying rent in February. But now, because of the unaccountability, irresponsibility, and incredible lame-ass flakiness of my roommate's stupid friend, I can't move. I hate having to rely on fucking nineteen-year-olds who can't keep a simple commitment. (For the record, my roommate is pissed about this too; as messy as I think she is, she thinks I'm anal, so it was going to work out best for both of us. Though now I think she's pissed at her friend too.) Tuesday, January 7, 2003 One of my resolutions for this year was to stop eating out so much. For a long time, eating out was a luxury, since I didn't make that much money. But now, I can more or less afford it. Of course, I can't afford to eat at really nice places all that often, so I find myself eating a lot of burritos. A lot of burritos. I bet I ate more burritos last year than just about anyone else on the planet (Mexicans excluded). I like 'em. It's like a neat little meal all wrapped up in a package, and you can eat the package! But then I started thinking about how much money I spend on all those burritos...and supermarket sushi, and falafels, and deli sandwiches, and Chinese takeout. And it's a lot! It's not that I can't cook, either: I can totally throw down in the kitchen. I just get lazy. I also started thinking about all the fat that's in those burritos and other takeout-type items, and I assume it's a lot. So...since the new year started, I've been cooking these big meals and bringing leftovers for lunch. My roommate is confused (am I going to a potluck? having someone over for dinner?), and I have to wash a lot more dishes, but I feel better about spending less on food. It's almost Wednesday and I still have the $40 that I took out of the ATM on Sunday in my pocket. And then: All kinds of new goodies announced at MacWorld: new laptops, new iMovie with pretentiously-named "Ken Burns effect" (yeeeeeesh), FCP lite, new software, oh boy. Best thing I have been offered to date in my Amazon Gold Box: Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas on DVD. If I celebrated Christmas, I would have snagged it. Monday, January 6, 2003 Bad, bad, bad day. This year had better improve fast. Sunday, January 5, 2003 I am moving soon. And my band broke up a while ago. At first glance, these two things might not seem to have anything in common. But, the demise of my band means that we've split everything up, and I now have about 200 of our CDs in my basement that I can do with as I please. I sure as hell don't want to move them, but I don't feel that selling them is right, since the band broke up. So...I have decided that I will give them away. Want one? Sure you do. It's fun hip hop and fusion jazz, and I will send one to you for a mere $4 to cover priority mail postage. (Priority mail is $3.85, so think of the change as a little extra for me hauling my ass down to ye goode olde post office, or something like that.) If you would like a wonderful Ubiquitus CD, drop me an email and I'll give you the correct Paypal email address or snail mail address. Thursday, January 2, 2003 Today's date can be written as 01-02-03. I'm surprised more wasn't made of this neat little factoid. Unfortunately, I had a crappy day. Had an appointment at the local community college, went to the campus, looked around for the right room, and then realized that my meeting was ten miles away on the other campus. Then I bought some guacamole, but when I got it home to eat, I realized that it wasn't fresh and green and was probably made a few days ago. Then I went to my friend's house to feed her cat, as she is in Germany for the week, and the cat wanted to go out, so I put it out, but then I tried to get it to come back in before I left, but it kept running away. So the stupid cat is spending the night outside in the cold. And then I figured my luck couldn't get any worse, so I bought some scratch offs to capitalize on the fabled law of averages. They didn't have the "Wanted" scratch offs, which was what I wanted, so I had to get the "'50s Fever" scratch offs. And you know what? The law of averages sucks. I won nothing. I figure I should just cut my losses and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Wednesday, January 1, 2003 New Year's Day is always so goddamn boring. Nothing ever happens, and I'm too lazy right now to make anything happen. I wish someone would come over and make something happen. But maybe everyone else feels lazy right now too. Maybe that's why New Year's Day is always so boring. I hope the rest of the year is more exciting than this.

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